I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
