my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
