i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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