Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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