He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
My dick has a subreddit
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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