His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Randomize
