their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Terrible idea I love it
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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