i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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