If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
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