So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
