why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
