eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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