I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
