we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
