My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
home. puking in laundry basket.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
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