Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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