He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
