420 ftw
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
