Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
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