he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
