happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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