I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
