I understand Curling. That high.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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