I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
