she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize