At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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