"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
How does it feel to date your dad?
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Randomize
