i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
