Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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