you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize