Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
