I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
