Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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