he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
