This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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