he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
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