The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Just high enough for therapy.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
