Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
