is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Randomize