Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
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