3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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