Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
