Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
