After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
