just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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