We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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