Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
