We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
