are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
