ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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