Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
