he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
