Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
