All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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