They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Randomize
