i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
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