You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
