Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Randomize
