Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize