We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
