i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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