I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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