i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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