Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
