His pubic hair was longer than his dick
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
