I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Randomize
