i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize